Art Imitating Life

Grief as Activism

I have been grieving having no answers. I have none. There are no easy answers for complex questions of why suffering exists and continues to be inflicted.

Not having answers can feel very powerless. I wish I had answers, I long for certainty. But settling into the grief of reality, of what truly is, is more meaningful than closing my eyes to the reality of suffering in our world.

Easy answers in grief lead only to empty platitudes of “thoughts and prayers”, of “they’re in a better place”. Easy answers in grief bypass the pain. And if I’ve learned anything in my own healing and witnessing the healing of others, it is that leaning into the mystery of pain is transformational. It is not easy, but it is more human.

Leaning into grief, where there are no easy answers, requires softness. Sometimes (a lot of the time), it can feel very selfish to do self-care when the world is in such upheaval. How could I possibly sit in a bath when there is so much suffering here and around the world? And also, I know of the transformation of nervous system regulation. It’s a delicate both-and, dialoguing from our Inner World to our Outer world. Leaning into softness amidst adversity feels dismissive, but it is Grief.

I started my educational journey in Political Science and switched into Psychology because the more I sat with the process of change, the more I came to believe that real change happens from individual people causing a ripple effect. In my political studies, I saw time and time again how top-down change is ineffective. Canada has very progressive abortion regulations and still, individual attitudes require security outside of clinics. Because until there is individual change, social change on paper is ineffective.

Nervous system regulation is so important in activism because when we are dysregulated, we are more susceptible to fear mongering. We are easier to control when we’re dysregulated. We are more prone to conspiracy theories and have less grip on reality of what is when we’re dysregulated. We are more suspicious and entrenched in our own survival, unable to truly feel for others when we’re dysregulated. When we’re regulated, we can see things as they are - for better or for worse and instead of succumbing to powerlessness, we actually have the capacity to mobilize our Selves. When we’re dysregulated, we have no energy nor capacity to create change.

Grief, is, in my opinion, underrated activism. Grief that doesn’t make the suffering about you (crying white tears over atrocities racialized folks have been enduring for centuries) can be transformative. Grief is being fully present in the reality of suffering, not bypassing the pain. Grief is a sacred space of shared humanity and from being in grief together, we can mobilize into action. Grief is not passive - it is feeling it all.

So even though I don’t have any answers - I am grieving. Of course I have no answers. I am sitting in the experience of powerlessness of grief and allowing myself to be transformed through pain. And action will come - I’m not sure what it will look like, but I trust my Body and my integrated ethics to show me how my grief can create change through people.