I have sat in pews and on cushions and been led in collective dissociation across spiritual practices. This is not to say every spiritual practice is dissociative but that the allure and relief of dissociation is ripe within spirituality. It is less about the practice itself and more about the intention: meditation or ecstatic prayer can be either embodied or dissociative depending on the experience.
The desire to escape the body is not new - it is a common reaction to trauma of the body and a natural response to Cartesian dualism that posits the body as “bad”.
When we have been told our flesh is evil, we of course would want to get away from that which is evil. When we have equated transcendence with spirituality, we of course would view our body as an obstacle.
Our flesh is not evil. Our body is not the obstacle.
Of course, after experiencing body trauma, being embodied feels unsafe because the body was the site of trauma. Just like I pull my hand away from the stove, we pull away from the element of our bodies when we have been burned there.
Before I say that spirituality should be embodied, we first have to feel safe in our bodies. To feel safe in our bodies, we have to know our bodies. In trauma, we turn our inner light off and in healing, we have to turn the light back on. Your body feeling safe in yourself takes time and we can take that time because you’re worth it.
We transcend THROUGH our bodies, not out of. The mystery of ascension happens within the fabric of our bodies, not outside of.
It is always root before crown. Our bodies are the container of our consciousness, not in opposition to our consciousness. Disembodied spirituality is not spirituality, it is just fancy dissociation. Here are some truths I hold dear in my own spiritual practice:
Spirituality must bring our bodies along because we ARE our bodies. Spirituality that focuses on transcending out of the body is dissociative. Our body is not the problem. Our body is not a prison to escape. Our body doesn't hold us back from being spiritual. Our body is spiritual. Meditative practices that obsess with transcendence miss the wisdom of the body. It is always root before crown.
I’ll be doing an Instagram LIVE this Saturday February 25 at 3 PM MST to talk more about this. Visit my IG page for reminders!
Spirituality that focuses on an external authority is dissociative. Spirituality that demonizes the Self is dissociative. Our Selves is all we are and who we are is inherently Good. We do not need to be afraid of our Selves because it is Us. In externalizing our Goodness, we miss the beautiful gifts of our Bodies, our Selves, our authenticity. We don't need to be saved because we aren't bad.
Since my authority had been externalized for so long, I noticed a polarizing pull to other spiritual practices with an authority and also a deep aversion to being controlled. What was familiar - spiritual authority outside of myself - wasn’t an authentic desire but was familiar. What we experience as familiar is experienced by our brain body system as safe not because it is but because it is familiar.
After giving away so many years to fundamentalist religion, my ethics for spiritual practice were clear - I could not consent to any practice that required the externalization of my authority. As I was exploring my spirituality outside of religion, I saw other spiritual practices wielding power, dissociation and fundamentalist rigidity. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I have been cautious exploring my spirituality because my body’s authority is the only priest I need. Trust yourself above all else.
Spirituality is not an escape. It is embodiment. Spirituality is not in denial of our humanity. It is in full expression of our humanity. It is not just ascendence. It is descending to reconcile with our shadow. Spiritual practice is not always pleasant. It is acknowledging that which we long to deny.
Spirituality is embodiment. We transcend through our bodies, not out of.
You are not a problem. Your body is wise, not an obstacle.
You are good. And you don’t need to be good to be loved.