Our “no” is what creates space for our YES. Otherwise, our emotional cupboards get fuller and fuller until there’s no room for US to exist.
So before you have a year of YES - have a year of no. Soft, gentle, life-giving no’s. You may have already had a year of no in 2023 - a year of hibernation, for the Hermit to beckon you to retreat within. In this act of turning towards our Inner World, we discover relics of long-forgotten selves, along with new talismans that hold prisms of our authenticity.
Oftentimes, before we know what we DO want, we first attune to what we DON’T want. The same was true as I was journalling at 11:59 on December 31 what I wanted less of and what I wanted more of in the upcoming year - I began with what I DIDN’T want to bring with me.
What I want less of in 2024
Feeling controlled by my to-do list
Working until the task is done because when IS the task ever really done?
Unrealistic, ever-changing expectations
Rigid plans for the projected future - and my worth being tied up in these accomplishments
Keeping the peace to protect others feelings
Shrinking, shushing, squishing the parts that feel “too much”
Fitting into self-imposed perceptions of who I am (and who I’m not)
I’ve learned I don’t actually like getting stuck in the nitty gritty - like grammatical errors and the like. My favourite English phrase I’ve picked up is “I couldn’t be arsed” and I really couldn’t.
And focusing on what I wanted LESS of in 2024 created the space I needed to identify what I DID want in the new year. It cleared space in my emotional cupboard so I could say YES and invite more into my life. Some of these were in direct relation to what I wanted less of, a more conscious desire - while others surprised even me as I penned them.
What I Want More of in 2024
Following the flow of inspiration to CHOOSE what to do instead of forcing completion for the sake of accomplishment
Working until the TIME is up (like for 8 hours or the 30 minutes I’ve allotted to the task) - I can save tasks for my Future Self, she is so capable and needs things to do too
Lowering expectations - I can do the thing for 1 minute and that still has benefits, even just to demonstrate how I show up for myself. Meditating for 60 seconds is better than none.
Taking the time to ask my Inner Child what she needs to be safe - and doing what I can to meet her needs. If I can people-please my Higher Self and make decisions informed by my Inner Child, my life will look more like me.
Letting my goofy, silly, creative exuberance shine - and choosing when I want to turn the dimmer switch (not for anyone else)
Following my natural interests of who I am. What I’ve discovered is that I love to watch the ballet, listen to audiobooks retelling stories that average a hundred years old, painting with every colour of my palette on A5 pages (and no bigger).
For me, my year of No has been enshrined by anonymity. Plunged into the depths of not being known, a tumultuous wave of uncertainty crashed the shores of myself - these have since settled into a gentle rush of water pulling the sands backward and forward in a rhythmic tidal rocking. To be in a place, both geographically and relationally, where people and places are unknown to me and I to them has been terrifyingly gratifying.
Now I want to hear from you:
What would you do in a year of No?
What do you want LESS of in 2024?
What do you want to invite MORE of in 2024?
“I can save tasks for Future Self, she is so capable and needs things to do too” - what a lovely way to think!