She wasn't lazy. She was surviving.
Rewriting the Stories Our Clients Carry. Join me Feb 28 for a live Narrative Therapy Workshop
Clients often arrive to therapy carrying invisible backpacks filled with memories, warnings, and lessons learned the hard way. They move through the world with careful steps, scanning for signs of danger and disapproval. From the outside, it might look like hesitation or procrastination. But inside, their body and mind are exhausted from constant vigilance. Every decision is measured, every word weighed. They’re doing the work of survival for years without anyone noticing the toll it takes.
In one session, a client described themselves as lazy. They couldn’t keep up. The expectations of life were too much. The demands never stopped until they did. They often found themselves stuck, rooted in place by an invisible anchor that they themselves were powerless to. But as we inquired more into what “lazy” meant, the narrative began to unravel.
Beneath the surface shame and self-criticism was a body that had been on alert for far too long, a nervous system that hadn’t had a chance to rest, and a mind that had been prioritizing safety above all else. What looked like laziness was actually the quiet heroism of endurance, a story of survival waiting to be seen.
Have you ever sat across from a client who looks at themselves with quiet disappointment, muttering words like, “I’m lazy. I can’t keep up. I’m just not enough”? On the surface, it seems like a simple narrative about motivation or willpower but as you listen closely, the truth unfolds.
This isn’t laziness. It’s exhaustion. Deep, persistent exhaustion born from a life lived on high alert, constantly scanning for danger, protecting themselves in a world that didn’t feel safe. Every choice, every breath, every movement carried the weight of vigilance. Their body remembers what their mind tries to forget. Their story of “laziness” is really a story of survival.
When a story is told about us often enough, it begins to settle into the bones. Maybe it was said casually. “You’re too sensitive.” Or sharply. “Why can’t you be more disciplined?” Maybe it was never spoken outright, but implied in sighs, comparisons, or the way love felt conditional. Over time, repetition becomes truth. The words circle back in moments of failure or fatigue, and we begin to narrate ourselves through them. What started as someone else’s interpretation slowly becomes our identity. We stop questioning the storyline and start living inside it.
And yet, the stories we tell ourselves are not random. They are protective. If I call myself lazy, I don’t have to feel the grief of being chronically overwhelmed. If I decide I’m “bad at relationships,” I can brace for rejection before it arrives. These narratives cushion us from deeper pain; they organize chaos into something predictable. They may be limiting, but they once kept us safe. To loosen their grip is not to shame them but to gently thank them for their service, and then decide whether they still belong in the next chapter.
Narrative therapy invites us to step into a client’s story with curiosity and compassion. Instead of locating the problem inside the person, we gently separate the two, creating space to see how certain narratives took shape and why they made sense at the time. In doing so, we begin to uncover strengths that were overshadowed by shame and resilience that was hidden beneath survival.
At its heart, narrative therapy is a collaborative and respectful approach that recognizes how deeply the stories we carry shape our identity and sense of possibility. Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with you?” it wonders, “What story has taken hold, and how did it begin?” Through thoughtful exploration of values, meaning, and lived experience, clients can loosen the grip of problem-saturated narratives and expand into stories that hold courage, agency, and choice without dismissing the pain that shaped them.
On Saturday, February 28, from 10–11:30 AM MST, I’m hosting a live virtual workshop, Integrating Narrative Therapy into Clinical Practice, designed for counsellors and therapists who want tools they can use immediately.
Over 90 minutes, we’ll explore core principles, walk through case examples, and practice interventions you can bring directly into session. You’ll leave with actionable strategies, intentional time to reflect, and a deeper connection to your own clinical voice.
Whether your client believes they’re lazy, broken, or trapped in an unhelpful story, narrative therapy offers a gentle yet powerful way to guide them toward freedom. If you want to help clients shift limiting beliefs, reclaim agency, and deepen your clinical practice, this space is for you.
Space is limited so register soon! https://www.thriveintegratedpsychology.com/products/live_events/narrativetherapy