The Invitation of Burnout Pt. 2

+ how I prevent / recover from burnout (from a seasoned expert)

Burdened. Used. Drained. Worn out. Powerless. Demands. Endless demands. Struggle. Exhaustion. Suffocating. Too much. Lacking. Out of control. Hopeless. Defeated.

There was so much to do and I knew it. Instead, I stared at a blank screen. I was so exhausted and laying in bed, my eyes stayed wide open. Yoked with stress, anxiety, fatigue. But somebody has do it - I have to do it. I can't do this anymore. I should be able to do this.

Life was a sunken void. Too busy, too tired, too much to do, my life became a sieve for joy. I spent my life trying to escape it.

Burnout is a hollowing experience - it scrapes to the edges of your being and empties your center until there is nothing left. It's why I best know when I'm burned out when I'm not - the path of burnout conveniently leads to numbness. I can't feel the serrated edge of burnout until I start becoming alive again.

Burnout doesn't always happen from work - we can become burned out by life, caregiving, even healing

From past experiences of burnout, my nervous system is more susceptible to it now. I've learned, the hard way, that it is easier to prevent burnout than to crawl out of the pit of burnout and venture into recovery.

I know I am stepping into the territory of burnout when:

1. I procrastinate showers - there's better things to do. I can use dry shampoo for another day.

   1. What has been helpful is to start the water running when I'm in the bathroom for other reasons. There's something about hearing the water running that makes it feel less of an obstacle. Asking for help to start the shower is also a great way to bring in people you love to help.

2. I stop drinking water - unconsciously, this is to take less bathroom breaks.

   1. What has helped is to stand at the fridge with the water and drink large glasses of water at a time. Straws also help. I also schedule in bathroom breaks now. I take care of me - everything else can wait. I can reduce the urgency to meet my own needs.

3. I don't move - both literally and figuratively. I stay fixed on one task, in one position for much too long.

   1. What has helped is lowering my expectations. Moving smally and slowly. Bringing my shoulders down (one of the things I value about doing online sessions is seeing my posture reflected back to me). Softening the space between my eyebrows. Relaxing my jaw. Softening my pelvis. I can do this all while rooted in place, if that is where my body feels safe.

It was by noticing and observing these ways my body was setting off my inner alarm, I was able to listen and respond. I began dialoguing with my body and taking (very) small steps to meet needs She identified.

I started living slower. I started making time for myself. My life started to look more like me. I started to like the life I was living.

I began to like my life by doing things I knew helped me feel better. I began to like my life by doing what I wanted. I began to like my life by taking responsibility for my own well-being. I began to like my life by creating space. Returning my center, connecting to my self, required space. I had to learn to listen to myself.

What would your body say if you had the space to listen?