Embodiment as revolution ⚖️
and how to build self-trust
I can still recall the day I became self-conscious. I was just under 5 years old. Just before I gave my “heart” to Jesus on a hard, wooden chair in our kitchen. I was in the habit of wearing my mother’s lace and silk nightgown. She tied the straps so it somewhat fit my small frame. I loved the feeling of the fabric on my skin. It was so soft - I felt so soft.
My parents had company over one night, on the same occasion that I sleepily wandered out of my room. I had been prone to nightmares of being dragged through my bed into the depths of hell after catching a glimpse of “Little Monsters” at a friends house. I had been to afraid to fall asleep and had come in search of comfort.
It isn’t everyday you see a toddler in a silk nightgown and the guests were quite impressed. I felt delighted. Looking back now, I was experiencing the marvel of attachment - to feel cherished in wonder and awe. I spun around in circles and felt dizzy with ecstasy at the experience. In the blink of an eye, my mom had scooped me under one arm and I was promptly back in bed, promptly snatched from my free expression.
That was when I learned that it wasn’t good to express with my body. It wasn’t safe to, it wasn’t “ladylike”. That was when I learned to hold myself back. I don’t blame my mom for this unintentional lesson - there are contexts that are unsafe. The intention isn’t malicious at all, but the impact is the same.
The body fascinates me because it bears so delicately the beautiful suffering story of its people. Our body’s reveal our story regardless; embracing the wholeness of your body, in its perfections and imperfections, hears and heals pain stored in the bodies through generations. Personal acceptance of your beautiful, intricate body can connect you with the wisdom of your ancestors. Personal acceptance of your complex, unique body can alter the stories of future generations. Personal acceptance of your Body as it is gives you the freedom to Be in the present, to Be in love, to rest, explore and be free.
As such a buzz word it is, embodiment can feel like planning a vacation to the Milky Way. Embodiment is simply the capacity to dwell within your own body, to inhabit your own Inner Space. This is no small feat, from the indoctrinated expectations of dissociation we inhabit. It is both an intentional practice and an active revolution. To be embodied is to befriend your body, to transform judgments and criticisms into life-giving affirmations. To be embodied is to personalize your body, to refrain from the habitual dissociation of calling your body, “IT”. (Listen to everything @iamjamieleefinchever says, ever). Embodiment is nesting within the sacred walls of our intimate, Divine temple.
You can transform the way you feel about and in your body. You can experience your body as the masterpiece it is.
Embodiment is impossible if you don’t first see yourself as a person. Often the biggest block we have in honouring our body is that we have participated in our own objectification. But what is embodiment? It’s used so often, what do we mean when we say it? This is what it means to me:
Embodiment: listening and responding to needs, honouring boundaries, felt in fulfillment, feeling at home, safe and comforted by your body, feeling known and familiar with your body
Disembodiment: rejecting needs, violating boundaries, felt in exhaustion
not individual failure but product of system entrenchment (it is not the people getting government assistance who are your enemy, it is the billionaires who hoard resources during a global crisis)
disembodiment is often perpetuated by bodily alienation, we are afraid of that which we are unfamiliar.
Desire: Fully mindful presence in the moment, Being with the sensations as they are experienced, free of shame.
Systems of oppression see us as objects to justify our exploitation and when we, as humans, hear something often enough, we come to believe it.
Our humanity is inefficient to these systems because we have to defecate and sleep and eat everyday, not like the endless output capable of machines. In denying our humanity (and our very human needs), we are reduced to tools of the system, cogs in the machine. The issues we experience from disembodiment are then projected back to us as an individual lacking. Chronic exhaustion? Do self-care, without mention of the 16-hour work days that become necessary to afford eggs.
I don’t think we can self-care our way through systemic, social issues - and also, our bodies, our inner world, are our responsibility. Both are true. It is relieving that we are responsible FOR ourselves - only I truly know what I need.
Self-care is an opportunity to connect to yourself, to create spaces where you can belong (feeling yourself mirrored, validated and attuned to). You might belong in nature, by yourself, in the mountains. You might belong with paints all around you, with candles and classical jazz in the background.
Self-care isn’t just about preventing burnout - it is about developing a relationship to and with yourself. In that spaciousness, we give ourselves permission to be ourselves.
Capitalism only works because of disembodiment: as people become more embodied, living under capitalism becomes less and less tolerable. Because it requires giving someone other than yourself authority, once we undo that indoctrination and remember our own authority, we become a threat to the system of capitalism. When you no longer are bound by what you should do you cannot be controlled.
We have been complicit in our own dehumanization by violating our boundaries in the hustle and grind culture. Our bodies cannot trust us while we are violating our boundaries, ignoring our consent - even in everyday ways, like continuing to eat something your body is allergic to.
Our relationship with our bodies is like any relationship - it is built through shared values and experiences, intimacy developed through dialogue and curiousity. Our bodies need to build trust with us. Trust is built by:
🔮apologizing to ourselves when we have overstepped our own boundaries
🔮acknowledging limitations, like when we do have to work extra long hours
🔮listening and responding to your bodies needs, like going pee when you need to
🔮showing up and showing up consistently for depth, reflection, play and pleasure
How can you build trust with your body?
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One way to build trust is to acknowledge your body. My body is here as I am here. Rafael