It feels surreal that January is nearly over. That we’ve shifted from Capricorn to Aquarius season - already. Time somehow moves so slowly and so quickly simultaneously. As per my own tradition, I’ve been reflecting on where I’ve come from, where I am and where I’m going. I think it’s important to pause - to stop from all the doing, even all the healing and allow ourselves to BE. To simply observe where we are. Taking time to pause helps me ensure I’m going in the direction I intended, instead of pressing on and ending up in a totally different trajectory.
Capricorn season, my natal season, is a powerful portal for me to time travel to different versions of myself and anticipate, in dreaming & imagining, the infinite possibilities that await. Creating this intentional space of time travel helps me be more present in my everyday. Since I’m a visual person, I’ve of course made a map of the travels of my inner world so far. Looking at these dotted lines reminds me of places I’ve been before - each dot is like a postcard from a past self and I can feel her inhabiting this space with me.
This has been my journey so far and I still have many roads to travel. As I reflect on my own Hero’s Journey, my own personal mythology, I’m curious where you are in your journey. In my core ethic of working myself out of a job (therapy is, after all, an individualistic response to collective pain and the more we heal ourselves & our communities, I hope to one day be unnecessary), I want to be able to meet you where you’re at. In my writing, in my offerings, in my posts & in my presence - I want to meet you there. To meet you there, I need to know where *there is.
So what is moving, stirring arising in you? What are you wanting to learn in this season of your life? Where are you in the journey of your mythology?
A definition note: the shadow is a compilation of what we learn is unacceptable about ourselves and the animus/anima is a Jungian set of terms to de-gender the concept of every person having both “masculine” and “feminine” qualities. Jung rightfully felt gendering our inner world is both unnecessary and problematic so he chose the terms “animus” to describe what is known as the “inner masculine” and “anima” to describe the “inner feminine”. In my work, I avoid unnecessary gender-ing and see the binary as an avenue of dehumanization that fractures the complexity of our humanness. Integration is important work and doesn’t need to perpetuate the harm of problematic binary categories.
I would love to hear from you if there’s something else you want to learn that isn’t listed. Leave a comment or respond to this post and let me know what you are wanting to learn in this season of your life!
The life we want, the person we want to become, doesn’t happen accidentally. Trust me. We have to first know what we want, and what we don’t want, to create space for the life we actually want. For the life we deserve (in the best possible way). Oftentimes, change feels illusive and “out there” - it doesn’t feel possible. Not because it isn’t possible, but because we don’t have a schema for what that change would look like. As in, change, even or especially “good” change that we want, can feel scary not because it is but because it’s unfamiliar. More on that next week.
In the meantime, I’m curious what change you’re looking for in your life? What do you want more of and less of? What does your ideal life, your ideal self, feel like?
Let me know if there’s another change you’re waiting for - we probably all want all of these (and more) so choose what feels most pressing, most relevant for you. These answers will help me tailor my offerings to be the most transformative and meaningful to you.
You aren’t alone in this work. Not only do you have your own presence to rely upon (after all, Jon Kabatt-Zinn so eloquently said, “wherever you go, there you are”), you have infinite others (including me!) supporting your journey back to your Self. You can find your centre - it’s always been within you.
Stay tuned to see if your focus or your change becomes a course - it just might! In the meantime, you can check out the plethora of courses available at the Syconium School. You don’t have to wait to start healing - you can take healing into your own hands.
The past several years have felt like an uphill path for accumulation: winning people over (re-building relationships), winning roles/ titles (at work mostly, though not literal titles). And now I've gone over the edge (of this particular hill), and the accumulation is accelerating like a giant snowball. So with this season, I have had to reorient and put the brakes on. To cut things out & say no & allow the Black Madonna/ the Holy Mother to protect me.
It scares me how many of my friends operate on a schedule (and of course, that I do too); a schedule that is overflowing with commitments/ interests at that. Fitting each other into slots in our days. Sometimes the whole "are you free on evening X or evening Y or morning Z?" tango verges on mechanical and fake (when I feel cynical). I don't trust that this is the life I want, where impromptu plans become impossible. So I'm trying to feel out which of my commitments/ relationships may have rotted and need to be set free. Trying to create some space for the inspired and impromptu. Creating time to stabilize myself and have energy/ calm to support others.